I see there’s a bit more news on the Tesla vs Top Gear story today, with this website reporting that the issue seems to be that Top Gear planned the dead electric car stunt before the Tesla was even delivered. It’s claimed that Tesla’s UK representative saw the script and was unhappy about certain representations and despite being assured that they would be removed, it’s claimed that Top Gear went ahead and filmed it anyway. In the best Fleet Street tradition, Tesla claim that Top Gear ‘Never Let The Truth Get In The Way Of a Good Story.” However, in rare break with standard BBC procedures, Top Gear producer Andy Wilman puts forth their own version of events which is a perfectly reasonable explanation. With regard to the court case, it’s going to be interesting to see the outcome, I guess.

Top Gear is a great entertainment show and has made the creators very wealthy, rightly so and hopefully will continue for some time to come. But personally, I think the whole Top Gear Bloke Routine thing is running on empty right now and in the quest for next next big blokey laugh or big ‘wow’ moment they’re in danger of losing the audience. While no-one really believes the road trip stories, just like a Jason Bourne stunt, they like to kind of be told it was real, that’s all. You know what I mean….

We all know that there’s a support crew of Landcruisers with you – there has to be, it’s obvious. So either decide to show a bit more (perhaps a BTS reel online) or drop the whole idea of you being in the middle of Syria about to die stuff. But it was still very funny when James May banged his head (sorry James).

Fact is, they don’t need to be quite so blokey to continue their success with the whole car genre, Jay Leno has proved how you can be very successful with a car prog and not have to be so dismissive of non-petrol technology, or as deliberately argumentative about obvious sensitive stuff. Just like that red neck comedian who screams abusive nursery rythmes, people laugh out loud, but inwardly cringe. Don’t be like that. Be like Peter Kay – make the joke a really funny one.

I love Top Gear, it’s one of the few car programmes my wife actually laughs at, but I think that Clarkson is a far far better broadcaster when he’s NOT talking about cars. His documentaries about Brunel, the St Naziare raids in WW2 and his amazing Victoria Cross programme were worthy of awards.

I don’t want to see Top Gear going back to the William Woollard era, just wind your neck in a bit.. And Mr Clarkson, please go and make some more of those Proud To Be British Documentaries, they were great and God knows we need them right now.

Loving this new viral advert from Toblerone. I love the taste of it, but I can never understand why they make eating chocolate so painful. Every time I buy some, I need a sledgehammer to avoid it drilling into my gums as I try and bit it. Looks like they’ve realised this, as the viral ad asks you how you eat yours:

Robert Llywellyn has been outspoken on Twitter and on his blog about the recent feature the BBC ran about driving an electric car from London to Edinburgh. His criticism was the style of reporting and the choice of a totally inappropriate car for the job. Tesla owners have all spoken out in defence of electric technology and this lucid response from Simon Hackett in Australia is worth a watch.

There’s little doubt that there are many vested interests in rubbishing this technology and indeed in recent years I’ve been skeptical myself. However, my initial experience of Smart town cars was a positive one and I’m really intrigued by not just the new technology, but by the human reaction to it globally. It’s going to be a very interesting ride….

I bumped into an old friend last week, as I had to call into a car showroom I used to work in. Of course, they relocated a few years ago to a cool, trendy out-of-town site, lots of smoked glass and chrome and very nice to look at, the perfect shopping experience and surely a great place to be? But when I asked how things were going, while I didnʼt expect it to be roses given the current climate , I was truly surprised by what he had to say.

“Iʼm really sick . Selling cars today is nothing like it was when you were at it.” I looked around the showroom, trying to find his desk. “Weʼre not allowed desks in the showroom, theyʼre seen as confrontational. Weʼve got sofas and clusters of chairs instead. What with the coffee machines, kidʼs Play Stations and widescreen TVʼs we ʼve less space to display cars here than in the old site”

Christ, feller, no wonder youʼre not making any money…

“Thatʼs not all, we ʼre not allowed to approach customers, we wait in the office until the receptionist calls us, theyʼre seen as more friendly” I can see why. The lovely long legs and black wool dress were truly impressive and no match for my freindʼs middle age spread and greying temples. But it wasnʼt selling cars. “This jobʼs hard enough, but now, itʼs just about impossible.” No shit, Sherlock. If youʼve got to stay in the office until called, youʼre not allowed to approach customers and the used car pitch is off limits until called, you stand no chance. My friends no Swiss Toni or vulture looking for the next punter as a victim, heʼs actually a very conscientious, professional bloke who cares about both the people he sells cars to and the company he works for – heʼs been there more than a decade. And yet heʼs desperate.

So who thought all this up? “Itʼs the new ʻRetail Conceptʼ, apparently. I just wish I could get out, but I guess Iʼm too old now …”

I was staggered, but on reflection I knew why. Some marketing expert with a degree in something theoretical has pitched this as what people want – comfy, cuddly, touchy , feely car buying thatʼs big on theory and short on real world facts. So is my freind a silver haired dinosaur? The young trendy marketing-type will doubtless think so, but Iʼve news for them. When the jobʼs on itʼs arse like it is right now and if you walk onto the used car pitch and listen carefully you can actually hear all the stock depreciating and the bank are twitching to grab back your overdraft, you need honest, motivated, hard working and above all, experienced cars salesmen.

It ʼs simple mathematics . Your stock is falling in value as never before, Glassʼ Guide is punishing it with a baseball bat, so you daren ʼt let it go over-age , but you canʼt liquidate it, because no-one in the trade is buying, either because they don ʼt want to or they simply canʼt write a cheque for it either . Thatʼs when you need car sales professionals, to get out there and find retail buyers for your stock. Not flat screen TVʼs and comfy sofas.